I'll Tell You About the New Me
by aphallies
Summary: A request for Norway/Finland. Einar works up the courage to tell Timo about who he really is. (Trans man Norway)


His hair had already dried, but his fingers had been creating ringlets in it since he'd sat down in his favored armchair. At that point, Einar's body had still been vaguely wet but that had all since evaporated. His fussing had exaggerated the already present waves, making them far kinkier. Only a few months prior, he'd cut it. It had reached down past the middle of his back in loose curls but now it just barely reached his shoulders. With the lack of weight that had been provided when his hair was long, the thin hair of his curls had tightened.

He sighed louder than he'd meant to, drawing his husband's attention. Sitting on the couch positioned in front of the television, Timo turned his head and his scrunched shoulders slackened. His attention—which had been on the game highlights of a match he'd already watched—was then turned solely to Einar. He raised his brows, a silent question. When Einar just gave him a placating smile that lasted only a split second, Timo spoke, asking, "Is there something wrong?"

"No. I'm just tired," Einar said, an excuse common enough from him. Timo's expression turned into a frown. The face he made was clearly a skeptical one. "Actually—" Timo nodded in encouragement for him to continue. "I was wondering—would you be willing to do something for me?" His eyes filled with a worry that he could not mask.

Without pause, Timo answered, "Of course. What is it?" He'd moved to the edge of his seat, his hands braced against the faux leather, ready to stand were Einar to move.

Fingers pushing upwards at his temple, Einar hummed an uncomfortable noise, his eyes closed. "I can't call myself your wife anymore. I—"

"What?" Timo shouted, his voice filled with confusion rather than anger. On his face was an acute terror. "Please, what are you saying?" He stood, the sudden rush of emotion bringing him to his feet without willing himself to do so.

Einar held up his hands, a sign of peace. "I don't mean it like that. Let me explain." His hands lowered slightly and Timo nodded quickly, a movement made sloppy by his impatient worrying. "Sit down. It's weird if you're standing like that." Timo made a suspicious face but sat even so.

"Okay," Einar started. "Calm down. Please." He frowned at Timo before glancing away, his gaze catching on a portrait his brother—Magnus—had taken from the shore of Timo and himself sitting in a boat that belonged to Timo's parents. "I mean that I want to be your husband, not your wife. I think it'd be better that way. More comfortable—for me, in general."

"That wasn't what I was expecting," Timo murmured in a hushed voice. Einar laughed uncomfortably and Timo followed. "Um, yeah. I guess if that's what you want we could—So does this mean you want to be a man?" His head cocked to the side and his face exuded confusion.

Toying with his hair, Einar said, "I like to think that I've always been a man, I just didn't know it. But yes, more or less, I want to be a man."

Timo nodded slowly, taking in the information. "Is that why you've been wearing my clothes? Because I've been noticing you doing that a lot lately. I was telling myself that you wanted something to remind you of me, but that makes more sense. You're not as sentimental as I am," he laughed.

"I love being reminded of you of course," Einar looked over at him teasingly through his lashes, his head tilted towards him, "but you're right. I've been trying to look like a man."

"I can't not see your femininity, but I think you're doing a pretty good job." Timo gave him a once over. "So, will you still go by Frida, o—?" he started.

Cutting him off, Einar broke eye contact and looked down at his lap. "I've been thinking Einar, actually." Timo repeated the name. "Yeah, exactly. Einar." He looked him in the eye and watched him expectantly.

Breathing out a sigh, Timo smiled. "That's a good name. I like it." Einar nodded, pleased. "What are you going to do now anyway? Does anyone else know?"

"You're the first." The look on Timo's face revealed how tickled he was by that piece of information. "I put the number of a clinic I found in my phone, but I've been waiting to call until I told you. It's taken awhile to work up the balls to do it."

"Well, I'm glad you did. It makes me happy that you trust me. I know you, but you always seem sorta secretive and mystical or something." Einar rolls his eyes and snickers. "It's true though! You're so quiet! You're like a fairy!" Einar shot him a look. "A very manly fairy! With—with weeds instead of flowers and—"

Einar held up a hand to silence him. "Oh my God, please stop." He chuckled, creases form at the corners of his eyes.

"If this uncalled for please tell me," Timo said quickly, a change of topic, "but what about you will change? I don't really know anything about this."

"I'll still be me, Timo. This is who the real me is." Einar looked wary, his arms folding as he looked at Timo from under his furrowed brow.

Backtracking hurriedly, Timo said, "That's not what I mean! I mean, how are you gonna look? I mean, I'll love you no matter what so please don't think I'm saying that I won't love you if you look different. You're the person I married, no matter what."

Sighing at Timo's worried speech, Einar nodded. "I think I'll be taking testosterone first. It'll make me look and sound more masculine, which is what I want. I can show you online what the effects are. Anyway, then I want my breasts removed. This all won't happen for quite awhile, though. It takes time."

Timo's face was concentrated, taking in Einar's words as he leaned forward. "Okay. Is there anything you want to do before then? Like, do you want your own clothes? I don't mind you wearing mine, but—," he trailed off.

"Yeah, I think so. And I'd like to cut my hair. Maybe something like yours would look good on me." Self-consciously, Timo brought a hand through his hair.

"If you want, I could cut it for you right now. I know I've only done the ends before but maybe I could try—?"

Shaking his head, Einar said. "I trust you, but I don't trust you that much. I'll make an appointment for some time this week, and I'll call that clinic while I'm at it."

"That sounds good. I mean, it's completely your decision, but I'll support you no matter what. Always." As an afterthought, he added, "Einar."

A genuine smile lit Einar's face. "I appreciate that more than you could possibly know. I knew I married a good man."

"Me too," Timo said, grinning.


End file.
